Sunday, September 5, 2010

PMS? What?

I am going to tell you that I have officially discovered what PMS is. Or, more specifically, what it does.

Print this out. Give it to any man, woman or child that you know. Then they can understand precisely what is happening to you. I tell you, this is some kind of bullhockey, bologna or whatever else you would like to call it.

This is PMS, hormones, Aunt Ruby or any other multitude of names that people like to give to "that time" I also like to refer to it as the estrogen house of horrors around here. 3 females all trying to navigate different phases of life.

I go to bed at night. I lay there and I think about myself and my life. I am kicking butt and taking names. My kids are healthy and well mannered(most of the time). I am feeling like " I am woman hear me roar"!

My house is looking great for having 7 people who live in it. I love the new awning out back where I can survey my kingdom as I am the Queen of my life!

I have the most wonderful husband who loves to cook, washes clothes and helps around the house and with the kids! I know that sounds like heaven to most women. I know it is to me.

I also have some awesome girlfriends who adore me in spite or my bossiness! They are my biggest fans and the feeling is mutual.

I so rock that I can hardly stand myself

I lay my head down, thanking the Good Lord above for all the blessings he has bestowed upon me and know that the best is yet to come. I curl up beside my sweet little mini weenie dog and drift off to sleep hoping for a good night's rest and wonderful happy dreams.

I wake up the next day to that feeling that we all get when we know what is about to happen.....Within the first hour of being awake I am a complete and total failure as a wife, mother, sister,daughter, friend and co-worker.

I look like hell (why did my perfect hubby even want to marry this), I am the goodyear blimp now. Nothing fits in my drawers so I have to pull on the big huge grandma sweats that cling to my bulging butt and thighs. I might as well pull out the mumu as there is absolutely no way anyone is going to see me looking like rotunda!

My house is nasty and I hate everything and everyone in it. My children are juvenile delinquents and Social Services will be here any minute to come and take them from the hovel that we live in.

I hate everything I own. I have positively nothing to wear and my house is a complete disaster. It is tiny and gross and it will never, ever be clean again. There is no way that I can accomplish anything today, least of all unload the dishwasher.

I am a complete and total failure. My kids, husband, extended family and even my fur people are going to be ashamed to see what a complete idiot I am. I am a loser. I want to eat an entire pizza, at least a bag of peanut M and M's and anything else that I can get my hands on that is bad for me......I don't care if it is cookies, cakes or pies, bring it on. I would go to Publix to pick all this up but do not want to be seen in public in my MuMu or extra humungo sweat pants.

I can feel a huge headache possibly a migraine coming on, no wait it is not a migraine but in my current state of mind a tumor. Great now I will have to get up and go to the doctor but can't as none of my clothes fit and I might have to go out and let people see my gross huge self..........

Yes, people this is what PMS feels like. No, I am not exxagerating and this goes on once a month for 3 very long days. Then I return to normal for the rest of the month (or as normal as I can be).

So, share this with everyone you know, while I go sit on the couch, rub my back and head, eat peanut M & M's and watch lifetime TV.....And cry!

Sunday, August 15, 2010

A new chapter in your life

Well, it is official...The beginning of the school year and all that goes along with it. New clothes, shoes and school supplies have been bought and packed into new bags awaiting that first day of the new school year.
We have one who started PHS this year! She loved the first day of school and the reason it rocked is cause' " I can sit with my friends at lunch"! That was the highlight of her day........
My 8th grader was very nervous even though she has known most of these kids her whole life...Her take on day one was it was good. All my teachers are good but one...He is a dork mom!
The first day of 4th grade was a hit with MWJ...He said that he has a really "good teacher".
Nothing earth shattering on the first day but everyone seemed to be off to a good start! Will keep you all posted as the drama unfolds!

Friday, July 23, 2010

The Beach!

We all keep hearing stories of oil and tar balls and I have been saddened to see some of the pictures that fellow bloggers and friends have been posting. So, I was a little apprehensive about taking our family vacation to the beach this year. However, we left on Sunday to head down to Panama City for our first family vacation since Mr. Wonderful and I got married a year and a half ago. Our in-laws generously allowed us to stay at their wonderful beach home for a few days of rest and relaxation. We left on Saturday evening and arrived in time to unpack and head straight to bed. We got up Sunday morning to the kids, all 4 of them (we were minus L.J. Cool J as he stayed behind to watch the fur people for us), already dressed in swim suits ready to go. We headed to the beach and to my surprise it was beautiful!!! No oil, no tar balls, white sandy beaches and beautiful waves. I was so impressed. We lathered the kids up with sunscreen, gave them their boogie boards and they were off and running! We had such a wonderful time. We made some great memories and had alot of laughs........Family time at the beach, it just doesn't get any better than that..............Well, maybe alone adult time at the beach might be just as good and girlfriend time too!!!! So, don't stay home, take that family trip to the beach. We went to Panama City and it was AWESOME!

Sunday, July 11, 2010

Send me some happiness!

I am needing some happiness this morning!

I am tired of hearing about oil and seeing pics of wildlife and marine life that are covered in oil.

Pics of tar ball covered beaches.....

Terrible stories of loss and tragedy...

Just for today, send me some flowers, candies, butterflies, kisses, imaginary playmates or worlds where life is good and happy all the time..........

Tuesday, July 6, 2010

The art of Compromise


a settlement in which each side gives up some demands or makes concessions
a. an adjustment of opposing principles, systems, etc. by modifying some aspects of each
b. the result of such an adjustment
3. something midway between two other things in quality, effect, etc.
a. exposure, as of one's reputation, to danger, suspicion, or disrepute
b. a weakening, as of one's principles
Ever hear that word a lot and wonder about what it truly means. Well in our house it means learning to give a little on both sides to achieve something that we can all “live with”. Let me tell you about a recent compromise that I made with my two, count them two teenage daughters…..Or as we affectionately like to call it the estrogen house of horrors…
Mal has been wanted to streak her hair with purple for about the last year now. She is the one who likes to jump outside the box and stomp on it just for good measure. Her dad and I have repeatedly told her no, they are not allowed to wear un ”natural” colors in their hair at school. So, one weekend she went off and came home with pink hair, then blackened it with a sharpie at school one day. Really, she has looked quite funny at times. We have grounded her, taken her cell phone and told her if she does anything like this again, we will cut all that beautiful blonde hair off. She finally gave up and decided it was just not worth it. She has been such a good girl for the last six months and for Mal that is huge! Good grades and behavior that had astounded me from where we had been. Well fast forward to the summer time and I was getting my hair done. My stylist is prone to funky hair colors and it is interesting to see them each time. I was telling her about the temp hair colors and she told me that she could do it and showed me the colors and promised it would be out before school began this year. Hmmmm, I thought let me just see how much fun this could be. So, I went home with a bright red streak called a “peek a boo” hidden in my hair and the girls went wild for it. I talked to my hubby and he grudgingly agreed to allow this one thing. He said this will give them license to do all kinds of things if we give in. I told him; actually this will enable them to see that by following our rules they can be rewarded with something they really want. Well I told the girls and they were giddy with excitement over this new grown up thing I was about to let them do……We went and had it done on a Friday afternoon and they thought they were the coolest girls ever to walk the face of the earth. All their friends were jealous and they loved it! I felt good about that compromise and that is what life with a teenager is all about. As my mom always says raising teenagers is like trying to nail jello to a tree!

Tuesday, May 18, 2010

Life is funny!

Ever feel like you live in a crazy world? Well come on over to my house sometime. I live in a house with anywhere from 3 to 5 children on a daily basis, a wonderful hubby, 3 dogs, a cat that lives in my bedroom, 2 turtles and a fish. Life is crazy and hectic but never dull in my house.
On any given day there are multiple other children running in and out with a constant "shut the door" followed behind. It is a beehive of activity and a hormonal house of horrors. I laugh constantly at the things the kids say and do and there is always some sort of crisis going in our soap opera life.
I would not change it for anything. Well.......almost anything depending on the day. J is getting ready to graduate from high school and we have to keep reminding him that he is still just 18 and not ready to be out on his own. At the end of next week we will have one who just graduated, one in high school, one in middle and two still at the intermediate school. Summer is just around the corner and it should get really interesting at that point! Stay tuned for some funny summer activites and life lessons......Never a dull moment here!

Tuesday, May 11, 2010

I'm Just Sayin......

I am going to post about something that I have written about before. Parents constantly amaze me now days with the way they parent and teach their children no respect for adults or other people. OMG...If I had dared speak to an adult the way I heard some children and teenagers speak over the weekend, I would have been "knocked" into next week. My dad always said " never speak with disrespect to an adult". If you have a problem and feel that an adult has over stepped their bounds, come to me and I will take care of the problem for you. You have not earned that right.....I Have! And he was so wise in the things he used to say. I to this day tell my kids the same thing. I better never hear you disrespect an adult. It just blows me away that thirteen, fourteen and fifteen year old kids are allowed to speak to adults like that and the parents just sit back and say nothing.
I volunteered at a festival that we have each year in our town over the weekend. It is an annual event that I enjoy being a part of. I was asked to work the kid's event area. I said sure not a problem....Those 3 LONG hours reminded me why I hate parents today!!! I watched little kids (I am talking 2, 3 and 4 year olds) running wild with no supervision, throwing rocks, pushing other kids out of the way with parents either no where to be found, or just sitting back and not saying a word. I think I would have killed mine if I had seen them do half the things I watched these other kids doing. I mean really, and we wonder why our society is the way it is today? I saw a thirteen year old in a pair of shorts that would have had Daisy Duke raising her eyebrows, hanging all over two boys who looked way older than this young girl....OMG, where were the parents? What are we teaching our kids today? That it is ok to treat people, whether they be adults or other children with disrespect. What ever happened to love thy neighbor as thyself? Or even better, spare the rod, spoil the child. I pray every night that my children do not turn away from what they have learned in life when they become parents. I have taught my children that you should love and respect each other but you honor thy mother and father......I know we are not supposed to talk about religion or politics anymore but dang....Our country and all that we were founded upon is in peril and the way of life that I knew as a child is all but gone. I was spanked as a child and made to be accountable for my actions. Am I in therapy because of it??? NO! Do I work hard every day? YES...Was I handed everything by my parents? NO..They taught me the value of hard work and discipline. I washed clothes, ironed my dad's shirts, cleaned the house, cleaned my room, helped set the table and do the dishes afterward. Did I get money for it? NO. It was part of being a family and contributing to that family. I really think it is time to get back to the old fashioned values set up by our grandparents and parents...If we don't, I am afraid of what the future holds for us. I am looking forward to being a grandmother later in life....But lord help me if my grandkids are brats!!!

Thursday, May 6, 2010

Southern Attitude

I am a southern belle!!!!!

I have often been teased, made fun of and laughed at due to my southern slang and southern ways. So, I have decided that it is time to set the record straight. We southern women are not slow or stupid contrary to the way we are portrayed on TV. We are what you would call steel magnolias or southern belles. We are soft on the outside and tough as nails on the inside. We are passionate about our families, our football and our friends. We believe in the traditions of our grandparents, aunts, uncles, second cousins twice removed, and so on and so forth. We believe that tailgating parties, afternoon picnics, nights out with the girls, weddings, funerals, ballgames, dance recitals and any other occasion that comes along is a reason to show off our “culinary skills” and “southern bred manners”.
We live by the unwritten code that southern food, wine and a good old fashioned “hissy fit” will cure anything that ails us. We use what the Good Lord gave us to our full advantage to get the members of the opposite sex to do what we want, when we want it, and how we want it. We believe in the saying “use what your mama gave you” to the fullest extent of the law.
We say things like “bless her heart” and well “you know who her kinfolk are” when discussing another southern woman or transplant who obviously makes faux pas in southern etiquette. We believe that the whole world is one big happy family and we say “hello” and “how are ya” to perfect strangers in the grocery store, nail salon or hair salon. We believe in intervention when one of our fellow “magnolias” has a problem or needs to step down off her high horse. We enjoy the steamy weather and humidity, which gives us a chance to congregate out by the pool (once again to show off our culinary skills) and discuss anything that needs to be discussed at that time. We know just what our girlfriends need in times of sorrow, stress or pain without even having to ask. We know all about their families, children, kinfolk and anyone or anything that is important to our southern sisters. We can give you a family tree that can rival any other person’s in the world with a little embellishment to make the story a little more exciting.
We still stand for the pledge of allegiance with our hands over our hearts and do not look kindly upon those who do not. We are patriotic, flying our flags on Independence Day and Flag Day. We believe in the power of chicken and dressing, homemade cornbread, nana pudding and sweet tea!
So, for those of you who do not live in the south, come and down as see us ya hear! And remember one motto we live by “American by Birth, Southern by the Grace of God!

Saturday, May 1, 2010

Really....Can life suck at times or what?

I have to tell you that sometines life just sucks! It is not always fair and I have never thought otherwise. My mom always told me that it is not fair and she is right. However, as a mama bear we all understand that it is not the same when it comes to our children. We want life to be fair to them and they should be able to have whatever they are willing to work towards and get it....Right???
Well hell....that is not always correct. I watched last night the disappointment in my daughter's face when she realized that she did not make middle school cheerleader. It was really hard for me to see the sadness, disappointment and despair rolling across her face. Then the tears starting to fall. OMG just rip my heart out and stomp that sucker flat! Those crazy judges...What were they thinking? My daughter is good and worked so hard for this and they just ripped it away and squashed her dreams. Let me go find an ice pick and punch a hole in their tires.......That was my initial reaction. And please, don't tell me that you as a mom have never felt the same way. If so I am going to tell you that you lie!!!!!!! It is our natural reaction as mama bears to want to protect our cubs from anything unpleasant or unhappy. Needless to say life sucked in our house last night! It will get better I am sure. But sometimes life just sucks!!

Wednesday, April 14, 2010

"In the blink of an eye"

Have you ever thought about the phrase “in the blink of an eye” and what it truly means? If you have ever been in a car wreck or watched your child do something that you can see is going to hurt but can’t get there in time to stop it you do understand to a certain degree. Recently in our City, this term has come to light in a tragedy that has impacted and changed the lives of two families. One family lost their precious two year old child in a horrific accident and another young man lost his innocence in a way that will haunt him for the rest of his life. I can only sympathize with both families. I have never “by the grace of God” been faced with this type of life changing event. The closest I ever came was when my daughter was a week old and stopped breathing on me two times and I was forced to perform CPR to get her breathing again. That was one of the scariest moments in my life.
I know that does not even come close to what these two families are facing right now. I can only pray that God will give them the strength to get through this time. Our community has really rallied around the two families and is doing all they can to help. It will never bring their child back or erase that young man’s pain, but maybe with time will help them heal. So, when you get bogged down with the minutia that is called life remember that “in the blink of an eye” all can change. God bless you all and kiss your children today!

Tuesday, April 6, 2010

Celebrate the little things in life

Counting my blessings

Top twenty things to do each day

Count your blessings*Kiss your spouse*Hug your kids*Call your mom/dad/grandparents and say I love you*Make time for a friend*Laugh*Smile*Pet your animals*Say something kind to a stranger*Tell someone who does a kind deed thank you*walk*buy something silly*buy something beautiful*light those candles*use your best dishes*eat dinner by candlelight*have a drink with a friend*cuddle with your spouse*Do something good for your environment*Pay someone a compliment*Live like there is no tomorrow!
My post for today is short, sweet and to the point. Love to all and have a great day!

Wednesday, March 31, 2010

Just put those big girl panties on and deal with it!

Ok....Parenthood is not for sissies! No way no how no where does it say parenthood is going to be easy! I always remember my mom telling my sister and I when we were kids to " put on our big girl panties and deal with it". My sister and I would look at each other (give the cuckoo sign) and go on.......I never understood that comment fully until I had children of my own. I have a boy and a girl and my husband has 2 girls and a boy. The boys are relatively easy but the girls....... Oh, the lord could not give me stepford since that would be way too easy but instead GIRLS who are very diverse!!!

Girls are stubborn, opinionated, bossy, messy and when they become teenagers, they are downright MEAN to each other.....We have 3 in our household. They are 14, 12 and 10. Mal Mal who is the 14 year old is going to be my challenge! She is very much her own person with an attitude to match. She loves the drama and has to be in charge of everything...Then we have Gabby who is sweet, passive and very unsure of herself and just how incredibly beautiful she really is. Anna Banana comes next and she is a funny, silly girl who so badly wants to be as grown as the other two.

The 2 oldest girls share a large bedroom in our house which according to Gabby " is just not fair"...........This said with an eye roll and a foot stomp to emphasize her point....I look at her and calmly say "just put your big girl panties on and deal with it". Oh, no did I just say that???? I sound like my mother!!!!!!! I bet when I turned my back she made the cuckoo sign and went on about her day.....She does not understand how lucky she is to have these other girls in her life but hopefully one day she will. She wants so badly to be grown up and she is not ready for that yet. I really want my 12 year old to stay a tween and not try to act like she is 16 years old. Really, someone please tell me that I am not the only one who feels this way.
I really do like to keep open communication with the girls as I feel that it makes you a better parent. But seriously, are some of these moms living on Mars? Mom, so and so just got her cartilidge pierced can I? No absolutely not....You have 2 holes in your ears and that is all that is allowed in this house....Well, when I turn 18 then I will....My reply, no when you are living on your own and paying all your own bills then you can do whatever you would like....UHHHHHHH!!! That is so cool and you are so mean...Yep that is me...The meanest person you ever met. I deprive you of so much don't I? Mom, Mallory said that she is getting her hair streaked with hot pink this weekend.....Not living in my house she won't. Mal if you return with that in your hair, I will personally take you to the drug store and dye that stuff back blonde the way it is supposed to be. Now, I do not have a problem with highlights in the hair. I am not a prude but really? Number one you can't wear that to school and number two why on earth would you cant to do that to your hair? She has the most beautiful blonde hair that most women would pay big money to have. It just drives me insane when they want to do these crazy things to themselves. I work very hard to build up their self-esteem every day and it just seems to me that some girl at school can erase everything I have worked toward.
Mal Mal recently decided to buy a dress with her mom for the 8th grade banquet and showed it to me via her cell phone. Really, now I am a 42 year old woman with a pretty dang good figure and I would not wear this dress. OMG!! What is her mom thinking? It looks like hoochie mama central (for those not living in the south, that is the same as trashy, slutty etc). She then tells me this morning that she wants to wear it with blue tights to the banquet. What the heck???? Blue tights under a hoochie mama dress. Can you say hoochie to the tenth degree. I suggested that Mal bring the dress back from her mom's house and show it to her dad. I mean really, do I always have to be the bad guy? No way...I can't wait to see that. I am going to get a glass of wine, sit on the couch and watch the fireworks go off. I know that it is not going to be easy but I just really want young women who are contemplating children to stop and think before embarking upon this journey........Girls are tough! I don't know how my mother did it! So, parents of girls and those contemplating it, I just have one thing to say "put on your big girl panties and deal with it!

Friday, March 26, 2010

Let your Flower Bloom!!!

The title for this post is a little interesting due to the fact that it is a standing joke between me and several of my girlfriends. We call ourselves the "clematis club" and yes there are multiple jokes related to that name and we get them all. We even have a little ceremony and jokes about by-laws and sub clubs of the club etc....We are a very diverse group of women who really enjoy each other. We applaud each other's strengths and that is what makes us such close friends. I want to talk about my girlfriends individually so you can get to know and love them like I do. The first one I am going to talk about is "Hi-Mae". She comes by this name honestly and lives up to it to the fullest extent allowable. She is not high maintenance in the way that most people think. She does not spend great deals of money on herself or demand that everything be her way. She is high maintenance in the way that you should be. She has very strong views on marriage, religion and parenting and will let you know in no uncertain terms how she feels. She has a beautiful family and is one of the most organized souls I know. She makes me laugh and has a way with smoothing things over amongst the group that makes her the ultimate diplomat in most situations. She has a way with words and can tell a story that will make you laugh!!! She is an amazing woman and I am honored to call her my friend.
Next comes Leigh-La or for those of you who blog she is tales from bloggeritaville. She has the most amazing spirit and zest for life of anyone I have ever met. She has the most generous and beautiful soul and is always there with a kind word or deed for anyone/anytime. She is an amazing photographer, mother and friend. I often have to tell her how wonderful she is due to the fact that she doubts herself quite often. She feels that she sometimes invokes drama due to the fact that she always tries to do the right thing. I tell her on a regular basis that not everyone in life can handle the right thing and she becomes that persons scapegoat in order to make themselves feel better. She lives life to the fullest and is always doing something fun, eating somewhere cool and she takes the coolest pictures. She is such a wonderful person and friend that I feel blessed to have her in my life.
Then there is Sweetness. She is one of the kindest, gentlest people I have ever met. I met her through another friend of ours and I am a better person for knowing her. She always has a kind word for everyone and a smile on her face. She also has a wonderful family and I often describe her as "home and hearth". She too is another blessing in my life.
Then there is "Diva". Hmmmmm where to begin with Diva....She is a sassy, beautiful, funny person who knows her mind and is not afraid to speak it. She has the unique ability to laugh at herself as well as others. She has faced some struggles lately but always is able to rise to the top. She is the hostess with the mostest and I can't imagine our group without Diva. She is generous to a fault and will make you laugh out loud anytime you are near her.
Oh now it is on to "Happy Hour". She is beautiful and has a smile that can light up the room. She is the type of person who always has a smile for you and will lend a hand whenever one is needed. I salute her commitment to her family and the way she will always champion an animal in need. She is a wonderful person who makes me smile.
Then there is "T". She is my neighbor and friend. As we became closer friends I introduced her to the group and she has blossomed from there. She looks like Beverly D'Angelo and is very reserved with her love. Once she gets to know and like you, she is as loyal as they come. She is a beautiful person and wonderful mother and wife and a phenomenal friend. I often say about "T', that still waters run deep. Our friendship is a treasure and she has been there for me at some of my worst moments.
One of the newer members of our group is "Thriller". I have known her for a while but it was not until the past year that I could truly call her a friend. She is funny, beautiful and a committed friend who will stand up with you in times of need or when you just need to let your hair down and have a good time. She often thanks us for our friendship, but it should be the other way around. She is one of the most kind hearted people I know and a rare gem as a friend.
And last but not least is "Luda". Now "Luda" and I have a different relationship than most as we also work together as well as being friends. She is like my sister from another mother and we often laugh at each other. She is as anal retentive as they come and I know if I need the truth about something I can go to her. She will let me know in no uncertain terms whether I am right or wrong and I love her for that. It is a rare person who will give it to you straight and love you despite being "difficult" (that is what she calls me). She is an absolutely amazing mother, wife, daughter, grand-daughter and friend. She is the one you want to have your back in any situation. What a gift I was given when she came into my life.
We as a group have been together for the death of parents and siblings, divorce, graduation of a child, weddings and just about any other crisis you can imagine. Always there for each other in the good times and bad. We share a bond that surpasses economic class, religion, politics, generation and upbringing. It is those differences that make our friendships strong. We all have certain strengths and talents that are called upon at any given time. I remember something that I read one time about a mother telling her daughter not to let her friends go during her lifetime. She said that there are times in our lives where nothing else will do but a good girlfriend. So, now you can see how blessed I am, and I hope that you take the time to feel blessed too! Call your girlfriends, make GNO plans and let them know what blessings they are in your life...I just did!

Friday, March 19, 2010

Be Nice Boss!

People are always telling me to be nice. I wonder why that is? I am a nice person….I really am. Now I am not saying that I do not have an attitude as that would be a lie. I do have an attitude and know how to use it if the need arises. I often tell my daughter or her friends that I have more attitude in my little finger than they do in their whole body. However, I live by the motto; I am as nice to you as you are to me. In my opinion, that goes along with the bible verse “do unto others as you would have them do unto you”. I always start out any interaction with someone in a nice and positive way. How that interaction turns out depends mostly on how that person treats me. I work with the public at a municipal building. We get lots of interesting and frustrated people who come in and out of here. I always try my best to assist them and have the interaction be a win-win for us. However, the types of people I deal with daily are not always the crème de la crème and have a tendency to lie. Now I have gotten very good at differentiating the liars, bitchers, whiners, charmers, cheaters and just plain jerks from the people who
need some assistance. I used to be able to say that most people are nice to deal with but lately I have found that nice people are the exception and not the rule. Everyone seems to have to have someone to blame for their problems/troubles and there is a tale of woe behind each one. Now, I know you are thinking, it can’t be that bad….Well come and spend a day with me.
I always try to be nice when dealing with people but it seems to be more and more difficult to do. I have written posts about accountability and this latest generation of young adults is not being made by their parents to be accountable for their actions. This has produced a generation of people who lack respect for the law and law enforcement. They come in and talk very profane (something I will not tolerate…I once told my boss that he does not pay me enough to put up with that) and expect us to fix it for them. Well, having children myself, I would be horrified if I ever heard one of my children speak to an adult like that and we have an eighteen year old living in our home. I have a rule in my house and tell it to my children often. Do not disrespect an adult …..ever…..If you are having a problem with an adult and feel that you need to speak up, then tell me what is going on and I will handle it for you. I am an adult and have earned that right. You have not!!! So, I say all this because I get told all the time to be nice “Boss” don’t be so difficult “Boss”. Just because I don’t usually take much crapola from people does not keep me from being nice. I have even had letters written to my boss about how nice I am. Of course there are also some letters in there that say I was not so nice. My girlfriend Leigh-La has a look that she gives me when she wants me to be nice. It is the sweetest look you have ever seen. She uses those beautiful eyes of hers and looks at me like I am about to kick a puppy. I usually will be nice after that. She is always nice…….let me repeat……..always nice……….once again always nice………Sometimes way too nice and will not stand up for herself. We are working on that aren’t we darlin? She actually recently let her inner “B” out and found that it felt good and changed some things for her. I tell her all the time that people will treat you the way you allow them to. So, if I ever have the opportunity to meet you in person, I will let you judge for yourself. If you feel that I was not as nice as I should have been, just lean over and say…Be nice Boss!

Fly on the wall

Ever wish you could be a fly on the wall? There are times I would love to be able to be one and be in on some of the conversations that I have heard re-told by my girlfriends. Recently, my girlfriend "Hi-Mae" had an issue with a local bakery in town. Now, you have to know Hi-Mae to truly appreciate this episode. She is one of the best story-tellers that I know and without being able to see the hand gestures you miss out the true "Hi-Mae' experience. Last night we were having a GNO and she was telling the story to everyone. She has a way with words and gestures that will about make you pee your pants. The story began with her telling us about the cake that she had ordered for her boys birthday party and how excited she was since her family was also in town for the event. The cake was due to be picked up on Saturday at noon and so "Hi-Mae" called her to check on the cake. She says that the lady told her that she was having a problem with another cake and was not able to get to hers today......What?????????@#, awkward silence......gulping breath...another awkward silence. Ummmm, my family is here and I ordered a cake and I do not care about your other cake issue. At this point I wish I could have been the fly on the wall to see the expression on her face and watch her husband attempting to calm her down. The bakery lady quickly told her that she could skip church and have it ready by Sunday morning. "Hi-Mae" hung the phone up and then was encouraged by her mom to call Publix. All went well and she was able to get a cake from Publix. By the time the story was over we were all laughing at the table because we all know her and love her. That is why I wish I could at times be a fly on the wall....She also blogs and her post on this "crazy cake escapade" was hilarious.

Tuesday, March 9, 2010

Planting the garden or growing the flower

I remember the day my mom and dad got married all those years ago. What is that you say? How is that possible? You should not have been there. Well, I was and I was 6 years old. My mom met my dad when I was about 4 and we lived in Columbus Georgia. She was his bookkeeper and he used to laugh and say that he took one look at her legs and knew he had to hire her! My parents got married and I got a dad, and three brothers at the same time. We were never ones who believed in the word step in our home. We were a family, kind of like the brady bunch. They married on a beautiful July day in front of a swimming pool with lots of friends and family. I remember this because I hated my hair (all curls and hairspray) and I had to wear a dress!!!! To the ultimate tom-boy that is agony. My mom looked like a flower child and my dad a polka player. They were so beautiful and in love! I give you all this information to talk about what it means to grow the flower. My dad was not my biological father. My biological father was killed in Vietnam 2 and a half weeks before I was born. I never got the chance to meet him and he was so young. Only 21 years old and killed in the line of duty. What a shame that such a young life was cut so tragically short. My dad adopted both my sister and I with the blessing of my Grandma Jean (my biological fathers mom). She adored my dad and approved of him for my sister and I. So, I have often said that it does not take a real man or woman to plant the seed but it does take one to grow the flower. I say that because making a child is the easy part; raising one is the hard part. My dad raised my sister and I in such a loving environment that I feel blessed to have had such a person in my life. In the society where blended families are the norm now days, it is important to take the time to tend those flowers. I recently listened to my husband talk about his step-dad who passed away this week and the things that he taught him in life. He speaks with great love and affection about one of the men in his life who tended that flower/garden. That is what it life is all about. So, remember to thank those in your life who not only planted the seed, but most importantly tended that flower!

Monday, March 8, 2010

Leave nothing unsaid

My thoughts today center around the important things in life. Faith, family and friends. There is nothing more important than remembering this in our day to day struggles. We, as a society are so caught up in the here and now and in some cases what I call "keeping up with the Jones'" that we forget what is the most important. God has a way of reminding us on a daily basis. He has a tendency to put things in perspective for us. I remember when my dad passed away. I had a restless night the night before worrying about bills, the kids etc, so I did not go to sleep until about one in the morning. It was about 2am when my cell phone rang with a wake-up call from one of HPD's finest. I work as a magistrate at the PD and have a good working relationship with my fellow police officers. This particular officer is one of my favorites and he was calling to let me know that he was on his way to my parent's house. Now, I am half asleep and thinking to myself, why is he going there? He said Kym, your dad had a heart attack and it does not look good. They are working on him and you might want to get there. I don't remember what I had on or even how I got to my parent's house. I do remember that my mom and I later joked that I had on house slippers and non-matching socks. At that point in my life, it did not matter how much money I had in the bank, how big my house was or how much I weighed. The only thing that mattered at this point was making sure my mom and dad were ok. Of course in the end my dad left us to be with God, but at least I was able to be there for my mom during her most difficult time. Life changed for me that night. I no longer sweat the small stuff like I once did and try to remember that " this too shall pass". The one thing in life that I became more concious of was making sure I left nothing unsaid. If I love you and you are important to me, I am going to let you know it. There are so many times in our lives when we look back and play the shoulda, coulda, woulda game. Please don't let your family and close friends be a shoulda, coulda, woulda in your life. Let them know how you feel about them each and every day. It is not just saying the words, it is living them. Small actions, a smile, a phone call a text. All these things become so important when you look back on life. The one thing I can say with my dad is that the last thing I told him before he died was that I loved him....How many people wish they had that chance again...................So, leave nothing unsaid.

"If we discovered that we only had five minutes left to say all that we wanted to say, every telephone would be occupied by people calling other people to stammer that they loved them".
-Christopher Morley

Thursday, March 4, 2010

Sanity Savers

Two of my sanity buddies!

A better pic! Sanity buddy #1 and me!

We all have people in our lives that drive us crazy right? I mean I know I am not the only difficult person in this world who interacts with crazy people. There is just no way that I am the only person who could possibly feel this way. Whether it is people we work with, family members, church members or neighbors...There is always those select few who drive us insane. I mean ready to crack open a big bottle of wine and down it in one gulp kind of crazy. Well, for those of you who get along and love everyone you meet, this post is not for you....because you are either God or Jesus and you do not need to go on reading this any more. Now that those people who are in denial are gone us sinners in life can talk turkey. I have come up with some tips to help you maintain your sanity when dealing with these challenging people. Now, I am going to preface this with I get that I might make someone insane as well. Well, if I do, just use these tips and I am sure you will be calm, cool and collected in the end. If not, then just stay away from me if possible and I won't drive you crazy in the end. So, here goes with my top ten sanity savers in life:
1. MEDICATION-If this is your sanity saver then you won't really care that the person is driving you nuts and will probably be smiling the entire time they are talking to you.
2. COPIOUS AMOUNTS OF ALCOHOL-This is a sure fire way to either dull your senses or make you un-inhibited enough to tell the person how you really feel. Either way you might not remember it later and life will be good for you.
3. IMAGERY-You can pretend that you are doing any number of things to this person or can go away to another universe where they do not exist! This works well. I have tried this on many occasions.
4. CALLING IN SICK- Now understand this works well for a day or two and then you will have to resort to 1-3 in order to keep your job.
5. REGURGITATION- This works really well if you really want the person you are talking to/dealing to think you are sick. You might not even have to fake this! If that is the case then opt for #4 and it gives you a little more time to recuperate.
6. MEDITATION-Light a candle, read a devotional, burn some incense, and take yourself away to another realm, universe or destination. Please remember to do this in private as some people might think you are nuts. It you are still in danger of losing your sanity, please refer to #'s 1 & 2.
7. USE AN EXCUSE-PMS, bipolar, irritable bowel syndrome, etc. This will give you a little bit of leeway when you get "snippy" or "pissy" with that person. It will also give you a chance to possibly use # 4 if you work with that person. Please remember that the repeated use of # 4 could result in unemployment and/or homelessness. This could also impact your ability to afford #'s 1 and 2 which could possibly prove fatal for you.
8. HONESTY-Now please remember that this is just a suggestion to you. If you feel the need to lay all your cards on the table with this person, remember one thing. This person drives you crazy!!! So, make sure that you use this approach in front of numerous witnesses, as it might result in what we southern girls call a "hissy fit". The reason for the audience is that if witnesses are needed in court to attest to your insanity defense.....You are all set. Please remember that if honesty is not your policy or you do not want to hurt the others feelings then please resort to #'s 1 & 2.
9. SANITY BUDDY-This can be a very important person in your life. Make sure that you put him/her on your speed dial so they can be contacted at a moment's notice. However, make sure that your sanity buddy is not as crazy as the person who you are calling about or you will have defeated the purpose. A true sanity buddy will participate in any of the above mentioned sanity savers and bail you out of jail if you require those services. I have several of these!
10. Now that you are at the end of the list # 10 encompasses all of the afore mentioned sanity savers. It is clearly written in the sanity saver by-laws that you may use them all at once or any combination thereof. Please be aware that if you do this, there is the slight possibility of a complete and total breakdown. That being the case the person who drove you to implement any or all of these savers, will tell are her friends well "bless her heart". We as southern women know exactly what that means and realize that is never a phrase we want attached to our names.
I hope that my sanity savers help you out today, tomorrow or any time in the near future. If not, I hope it makes you laugh today!

Tuesday, March 2, 2010

Cherish the time you have

I always remember a story that someone told me one time and the quote at the end is "Life is what happens while you are busy making plans". This is so true for all of us in life. We are so focused on the present, raising kids, taking care of our families, working etc, that we sometimes forget to stop and enjoy life. I am a huge homebody and am most relaxed sitting at home watching a movie, reading a book or just spending some quality time with my family. I am not a roamer by nature and while traveling is nice from time to time, I like to be in my home with my people. As I said in an earlier post, I enjoy unwinding with my gal pals. They make me laugh and allow me to be who I am. That being said I want to let you know about one of the most precious gifts I have ever been given in my life. The love of my family. My sister is the first one I am going to talk about. She is a wonderful woman in so many ways. She is a good mother, wife, sister, and granddaughter. Having said that she is also a fantastic person....She tends to sometimes forget that she is not just the things I mentioned but a beautiful person from the inside out. Now, when we were growing up, we fought like cats and dogs. She and I have very different personalities and are total opposites in almost every way. We did the typical I can't stand you for most of our childhood and teenage years. It was not until we grew up and had children that we learned to appreciate each other for the women that we have become. I love her for the person that she is and embrace the differences between us. She is so much more amazing than she realizes and I love her very much.
Then there is my mom. I have often told her that she is the strongest woman that I know. She has faced more adversity in her lifetime than most people ever think about. She has faced the death of a child, parent and spouse. She has done all this and has managed to maintain a wonderful outlook on life and love. She is a survivor in so many ways. I attribute alot of my parenting skills to my mom. She taught me alot about lessons in life and how to handle just about any situation. One of the things she taught me in life that stick with me is that people will treat you the way you allow them too. This is so true. I have made my share of mistakes and looking back on them I realize that she was right. I allowed alot of what happened to me happen by not standing up and saying " no, you are not going to treat me this way!
I have already talked in a previous post about my grandmother and the type of person that she is. I am so blessed to have been able to spend so much time with her over the past few years and hope to continue to do so. Growing up, I did not get to spend much time with my grandmother as I did not see her very often. She lived in Pennsylvania and was still raising kids herself. It was not until I became an adult that my grandmother and I became friends. She is a wonderful, funny, amazing woman that I hope to continue to be able to share time with.
Now, I am going to talk about my dad. What a wonderful man! I have always said that he was greatest man I ever knew and that is so true. He was the most loving, giving person I have ever known. He was my biggest cheerleader and my soft place to fall when life was getting me down. He faced alot of adversity in his life and stayed smiling until the day he died. He was a rare breed of man who never judged me but always told me the truth if I asked for it. He and I used to talk every Sunday morning on the telephone. Now understand that my dad did not talk on the phone....He was not one for idle chit chat. But, every Sunday morning we spent about an hour talking about life and everything in it. We would discuss kids, football the weather, politics, religion and so on. The one thing he would always tell me is "life is a gift". Each and every day I have here is a blessing. You know I should not be here but I am. He would always tell me that he was not ready to go today but if it was his time to go then he would and would have no regrets. He told me every time I saw or talked to him that he loved me and was proud of the woman I had become. My dad has been gone a year now and I miss him each and every day. However, I cherished the time that I had with him and know that we never left the most important saying in life unsaid. " I love you" is the most important gift you can give your family and friends. Not just saying it but showing it in each and every way. I know that my dad is smiling down on me each day saying....there you go baby. I am so proud of you and I love you. So, cherish the time you have with your greatest gifts in life....your family and friends......A valuable lesson I learned from my family and friends.

Monday, March 1, 2010

Give me a break!

I am constantly amazed at the speed in which our children grow up now days. I think our society puts too much pressure on young girls to be sexy and grown up without truly thinking about the consequences it has on these young ladies. Everyone seems so blase' about the clothing, TV shows and music that our children are listening to. My 12 year old daughter came to me the other day and was telling me about a pair of boots that she wanted. They are converse boots that lace up and she wants to wear them with shorts......What???? She said that another girl had them on at school and everyone thought they were are twelve and have no concept of what sexy really is. These are words that are thrown around middle school all the time. Sexy, hot, provocative and the list goes on!!! I remember the words cute and fine being used in middle school and then the same went on in high school.
I remember a time when cheerleaders looked like wholesome all american girls and not hoochie mama's in midriff showing tops. It was very daring to wear a top that showed a peek of your stomach in college and now they make these shirts for six year olds.....REALLY!!! And we wonder why there is so much more pressure on our kids than ever. Listen to the way they talk and interact now days. Well, if you call texting at the rate of 200 or so texts a day talking to each other. What happened to a good old fashioned phone call to someone or even passing a note back and forth. Those were the days when communication was done face to face and people usually had to face you to break up with you or at least call you on the phone. Now it can be done with the click, click of a keyboard. To me it kind of takes alot the the responsibility and accountability away from people in a relationship.
I really worry about my children and the future that they face. I always make a point to stress accountability for their actions and that for every action there is a consequence that must be faced. I sometimes feel like the meanest mother in the world because I tell my kids all the time that "I was not put here to be your have enough of those. I am your mom". I feel that it is my job to give my children the tools to be good people and make smart decisions in life. It is a much more difficult task given that many other parents want to be buddies with their children and spend entirely too much time giving their children what they want, instead of what they need. We as a society really need to re-evaluate our priorities or we will end up with a future generation that does not have good morals and values. This is scary as these children are our future leaders........WAKE UP! and lets teach our kids the true values that are important in life! Someday they will grow up and be out on their own. I hope that my kids will raise their children they way my parents raised me!

Thursday, February 25, 2010

Girl time is good for the soul!

I have always felt that women are so much more stressed than men. Now all you men out there understand that I am not putting you down at all...It is just that we put so much more on our shoulders and worry more than you do. We try to be the perfect mother, wife etc and sometimes we get lost somewhere in all the craziness.
Now, there are many ways to rejuvenate the soul. You can take up a hobby, read a book, take a mini vaction, or go to the spa (one of my all time favorites). I am a big reader and love to get away on a lazy afternoon. With so many demands on our time it is so important to take the time to rejuvenate. I feel that it makes me a better person overall. I do have to say that my favorite way to truly rejuvenate is to have some girl time with my friends. It is a time to laugh, joke and talk about what is going on in each others lives. I love to spend time with my girlfriends. We are such a diverse group of people that mesh so well together. When we are in our teens, it is difficult to make good girlfriends. There is so much competition in life at that age and it is hard to find those true girlfriends. I found that when I finally "came into my own as a woman" that my friendships became true. The worthiness of a friend should not be judged on the type of house they live in, how much money they have or how connected they are; instead it is the beauty of that person's soul. I have the best friends anyone could ask for. They are a funny, caring, compassionate group of women who come from different backgrounds. We are all different sizes, shapes and personalities but we all blend so well. We celebrate each others strengths and weaknesses and when one of us is weak the others are strong for that person. We have been together for the death of a parent, a sibling, weddings, divorces and illness. We stand together in the good times and bad and try to get together as often as time allows for a little rejuvenation for the body and soul. There is nothing like a GNO for making you a better woman! Remember to make time for the important things in life and there is nothing more important in life than your girlfriends.....

Tuesday, February 23, 2010

Calling all animal lovers

Growing up we always had animals in our house and they were considered a member of our family. We loved our dogs and I do not remember a time that I was not surrounded by my furples (that is the word that we used in the means fur people). They were always considered members of our family and we treated them as such. We have had Dobermans, Welsh Corgi's, Jack Russell Terriers, a Silky and a Yorkie. When I became an adult (defined as living completely on your own with no assistance from mom and dad), I got my first grown up pet. It was a black cat and her name was CoCoa. She was not a very social animal but I loved her just the same. Then along came my most memorable dog, Colby. He was a Lab/Chow mix and he was a great dog! He loved me and was an awesome addition to our family. Colby is long gone and then came a series of not so great family furples and finally Mac came into our lives. He was the best dog I ever had. He was a Boxer/Shepard mix who loved our family and was a great guard dog. Mac was the same age as Lego-man and we all adored him. We were blessed to have him in our lives for almost 8 years until we had to have him put to sleep. That was one of the hardest things I ever had to do. I had noticed he was losing weight and so I called my vet thinking he had worms or something simple like that. Turns out I got the call saying he was in kidney failure and there was nothing we could do. My vet asked me what I wanted to do.....Are you kidding me? I wanted to bring my baby home and pretend that everything would be just fine. However, I knew that it would not be. She told me what the progression would be and I just could not allow that sweet, loving, gentle animal to go through that. He had been with me at one of the most difficult times in my life. So, my dad and I got in the car and went to the animal hospital to be with him as they put him to sleep. Missy, that is the name of my vet let me go in the room with him and he put his precious head into my lap and we said our good-byes...I thanked him for his loyalty and devotion to our family and told him how much I loved him. We sat together on the floor and I cried as he went gently over the rainbow bridge. My dad and I sat together and cried like you would if you lost any other family member and talked about the impact an animal can have on your life. I truly believe that God put Mac in my life to teach me about selfless love and kindness....He was truly an awesome part of my life. It took me a long time to decide that I wanted another furple in my life. I told my husband one day about 9 months after Mac that I thought I was ready for another animal in the house. He said baby, we have 2 dogs a cat and 5 kids floating around here....Do you think we need one? I did not think that it would happen so fast. The next day my sweet man showed up at the office with the cutest tiniest mini-dauschund I had ever seen. We took him home and named him Ziggy. He is the funniest, sweetest little spoiled rotten dog you have ever seen. He has been really good for Elvis (my husband's bassett hound) and they play together like brothers. He has many nick-names in our family such as pittimus, ziggy-wig and zig-zag. So, if you are an animal lover like me, kiss your husband each day, your kids and your furples too......They are just as much family members as the rest of the clan. And to my beloved Mac.......I thank you for being a part of our family!

Monday, February 22, 2010

Fabulous at forty!

I can remember a time when I thought forty was old!!!! Do you guys remember those days? As a child, someone would tell you how old they were and you would think wow...they are gonna die soon. To children the passage of time is so slow and an hour, a day, a week can seem like forever. My mom and dad laughed at a story that I told them one time about my daughter lil ms. sunshine......Gabby's girl scout troop were doing a field trip and her scout leader called to ask if they could go to our family plot and etch the marker. I told her that would be fine and the troop took off to do so. Later in the day, Gabby's troop leader called me and she was laughing pretty hard. She said that Gabby was very excited to share her family history with the other girl scouts. She told the other girls, see that is my Uncle Steve buried there, my grandma boo-boo legs is buried here. This is also my Mi-mi and Da-da's marker and they are not dead yet but will be soon......At the time my parents were about 58 and 67. I thought my dad was going to bust wide open when I told them. It became the family joke to say that you might want to do that since you aren't dead yet but will be soon......Anyway, tell that story to talk about the passage of time and how our perspectives change as we get older. I look at myself now in a totally different light than I did when I was twenty-something and even thirty-something. I look at pictures and I look better now and feel better than I have in years. And another thing I have realized is that life is too short for bull...I just no longer have the patience that I once had for it...Now, I know people who know me well are thinking what the heck???? She has never put up with bull......Some are probably rolling on the floor laughing at this point. However, I have even less patience with it than I used to. Another thing I have learned about myself is that the riches in this world can't be bought or acquired. They must be built through friendships and the relationships that you have with your family. I feel so fortunate that the friends I have in my life are ones that have been with me through good times and bad. They are the type of people who will be there for you without you even having to call or say a word. They just know. Now that being said, I also know that if I get a little up on my high horse, these same friends will be the first to tell me hey "Boss" get on back down here with the rest of us. They love to tease, laugh, make fun of as well as praise me whenever we are together. I can honestly say that forty is best of both worlds for me...I am young enough to have fun and too old to care!!!!!!!

Tuesday, February 16, 2010

A long line of strong women.....

I come from a long line of strong amazing women.....Genetics is an amazing concept in life and as you get older, you come to note the little things about yourself that come from your mother, father etc. My grandmother is one of the most amazing women that I know. She will be 80 in March and still works at least 3 sometimes 5 days a week. She is such an amazing person, teacher and friend. I like to go over and spend time with her on Saturday mornings. She is such a funny, cut to the chase kind of person. I know that anytime I want an honest answer about something I can go to her and she will let me know her opinion. She has only been in the south for a couple of years and I often laugh at her when she talks about people and things that go on. I tell her "GiGi....this is the south" and things are a little different here. She is a beautiful woman and I can only hope that when I am 80 I am in as good shape, health and spirits as she is. Then there is my mother.....She is the strongest woman that I know. She has faced many adversities in life and she is a survivor. I look at my daughter Gabby and see so much of my mom in her....They have the same features and general attitude in life. I know that Gabby will grow up to be an amazing person too. I often say that it is not fair that neither one of my children look anything like me.......I feel that if I carry them in my body for 9 months then one of them should at least look like me......Nope not at all. My daughter looks just like my mom and my son looks like his dad. Now, my son is more like me in attitude which is not neccessarily a good thing. He is stubborn, opinionated and as hard headed as they come. He and I butt heads quite a bit....I look at him and think, lord son you are in for a tough road if you don't learn to compromise a little more. So, I feel so blessed to have come from such a strong line of women and am so glad that my children will have such a wonderful gene pool to pass on to their children........A day I am so looking forward to.

Monday, February 15, 2010

The ability to love yourself

The journey of life takes us on so many twists and turns and it a lesson is faith, hope and love. There are many disappointments throughout...along with wonderful lessons, joy, tears and laughter.....The one thing that I have learned during my 40-something years is that through it all you have to love yourself...Oh, I know this is not an easy feat...We all have our times in the barrel when we get down on ourselves and life and how unfair it is at times. Hey...put on your big girl panties and deal with it...And while you are slipping them on, whether they be cheeky, thong, granny or BVD's, remember that life is a gift and each day a new adventure. Also remember that you are your own worst critic and if you learn ways to love yourself throughout the tough times, then you will always have something to keep you going. Now, I have an awesome friend who I tell all the time that she is her own worst enemy....She is the most loving, generous, kind spirited person I have ever known. I only wish she knew it and believed in herself more. She lives life as if every second is her last and fills each day with new things, places, foods and people. I love to live vicariously through her and see the world as she does. I tell her all the time how incredibly special she is and how lucky I am to have her in my life.......My quote for the day is " love yourself the way God loves you". He made us all different for a reason. Embrace who you are!

Friday, February 12, 2010

" Friends vs. frienemies"

I recently had a conversation with my 12 year old daughter about friends vs. frienemies......Let me explain what I mean by this. My daughter Gabby is a sweet, easy going beautiful young lady who is very laid back. She has a kind heart and is what we older folks call a late bloomer. She is going to be so beautiful that it makes me worry. Now, I know all parents think their child is the prettiest, smartest, greatest child ever to be born, but I look at her and think...Oh my she is going to be beautiful. She has the most gorgeous hair I have ever seen. It is curly with gorgeous spiral type curls and it can be straightened or left curly. Of course she hates it! She has a beautiful complexion with lips that most women pay big money for and the biggest brown eyes you have ever seen. She is her own worst critic...I am fat, I hate my hair etc......I am sure those of you who have girls understand exactly what I am talking about. So, on to my story....My daughter recently had her hair cut, highlighted and straightened. She was so excited about it and could not wait to show it off at school. She dressed up that day and had her hair all fixed, put a little make-up on and headed off to school. That afternoon, she came home very dejected with her hair pulled up in a pony-tail. I asked her how her day went and she said that one of her girlfriends told her her hair looked terrible. I told her her hair is gorgeous and that the girl is just jealous. Now this little girl is someone that my child considers a friend....I told her that real friends do not treat people that way and are happy when their friends do something great or have a great new hairdo! Girls who pretend to be your friends but talk about you behind your back or say hurtful things are frienemies. My mom used to tell me all the time 'with friends like that who needs enemies". As a teenager I did not understand that concept, but as I got older I understood it only too well. Now I have the best girlfriends in the world ones who love and respect me for who I am. They are happy for me when something good happens to me and share my sorrow when things go wrong. I hope someday my daughter is as lucky as I am.

Monday, February 8, 2010

What happened to accountability?

I have to say that I really miss the days of old when a parent makes a child accountable for their actions. I am amazed daily by the parents of adultsand children that try to come in and take care of the child's responsibilites. I am a big proponent of my children taking responsibility for their actions.
Recently, my step-daughter had a problem with another girl at a football game and got suspended from school for it. I talked to her about it and she admitted that she had thrown the slushy at this girl and gave me some reasoning about she was in a fight with her friend and she has helping her friend. I immediately called the girl's mother to address the situation and get the entire story. The mom and I had a nice conversation about it and then I said something to her that really shocked her...I asked when a good time was for me to bring my daughter over to apologize in person for what she had done....She was so surprised and immediately stated that this was not necessary. I told her that it was absolutely necessary in my opinion and to please let us know what a good time would be. You know, she never did call me back to let us come and apologize. So, instead of letting it go, I made my step-daughter write her a letter of apology. I believe in accountability for your actions. My children might not follow through into adulthood, but right now you will do the right thing. As I like to say " put on your big girl panties and deal with it"!