Sunday, September 5, 2010

PMS? What?

I am going to tell you that I have officially discovered what PMS is. Or, more specifically, what it does.

Print this out. Give it to any man, woman or child that you know. Then they can understand precisely what is happening to you. I tell you, this is some kind of bullhockey, bologna or whatever else you would like to call it.

This is PMS, hormones, Aunt Ruby or any other multitude of names that people like to give to "that time" I also like to refer to it as the estrogen house of horrors around here. 3 females all trying to navigate different phases of life.

I go to bed at night. I lay there and I think about myself and my life. I am kicking butt and taking names. My kids are healthy and well mannered(most of the time). I am feeling like " I am woman hear me roar"!

My house is looking great for having 7 people who live in it. I love the new awning out back where I can survey my kingdom as I am the Queen of my life!

I have the most wonderful husband who loves to cook, washes clothes and helps around the house and with the kids! I know that sounds like heaven to most women. I know it is to me.

I also have some awesome girlfriends who adore me in spite or my bossiness! They are my biggest fans and the feeling is mutual.

I so rock that I can hardly stand myself

I lay my head down, thanking the Good Lord above for all the blessings he has bestowed upon me and know that the best is yet to come. I curl up beside my sweet little mini weenie dog and drift off to sleep hoping for a good night's rest and wonderful happy dreams.

I wake up the next day to that feeling that we all get when we know what is about to happen.....Within the first hour of being awake I am a complete and total failure as a wife, mother, sister,daughter, friend and co-worker.

I look like hell (why did my perfect hubby even want to marry this), I am the goodyear blimp now. Nothing fits in my drawers so I have to pull on the big huge grandma sweats that cling to my bulging butt and thighs. I might as well pull out the mumu as there is absolutely no way anyone is going to see me looking like rotunda!

My house is nasty and I hate everything and everyone in it. My children are juvenile delinquents and Social Services will be here any minute to come and take them from the hovel that we live in.

I hate everything I own. I have positively nothing to wear and my house is a complete disaster. It is tiny and gross and it will never, ever be clean again. There is no way that I can accomplish anything today, least of all unload the dishwasher.

I am a complete and total failure. My kids, husband, extended family and even my fur people are going to be ashamed to see what a complete idiot I am. I am a loser. I want to eat an entire pizza, at least a bag of peanut M and M's and anything else that I can get my hands on that is bad for me......I don't care if it is cookies, cakes or pies, bring it on. I would go to Publix to pick all this up but do not want to be seen in public in my MuMu or extra humungo sweat pants.

I can feel a huge headache possibly a migraine coming on, no wait it is not a migraine but in my current state of mind a tumor. Great now I will have to get up and go to the doctor but can't as none of my clothes fit and I might have to go out and let people see my gross huge self..........

Yes, people this is what PMS feels like. No, I am not exxagerating and this goes on once a month for 3 very long days. Then I return to normal for the rest of the month (or as normal as I can be).

So, share this with everyone you know, while I go sit on the couch, rub my back and head, eat peanut M & M's and watch lifetime TV.....And cry!

Sunday, August 15, 2010

A new chapter in your life

Well, it is official...The beginning of the school year and all that goes along with it. New clothes, shoes and school supplies have been bought and packed into new bags awaiting that first day of the new school year.
We have one who started PHS this year! She loved the first day of school and the reason it rocked is cause' " I can sit with my friends at lunch"! That was the highlight of her day........
My 8th grader was very nervous even though she has known most of these kids her whole life...Her take on day one was it was good. All my teachers are good but one...He is a dork mom!
The first day of 4th grade was a hit with MWJ...He said that he has a really "good teacher".
Nothing earth shattering on the first day but everyone seemed to be off to a good start! Will keep you all posted as the drama unfolds!

Friday, July 23, 2010

The Beach!

We all keep hearing stories of oil and tar balls and I have been saddened to see some of the pictures that fellow bloggers and friends have been posting. So, I was a little apprehensive about taking our family vacation to the beach this year. However, we left on Sunday to head down to Panama City for our first family vacation since Mr. Wonderful and I got married a year and a half ago. Our in-laws generously allowed us to stay at their wonderful beach home for a few days of rest and relaxation. We left on Saturday evening and arrived in time to unpack and head straight to bed. We got up Sunday morning to the kids, all 4 of them (we were minus L.J. Cool J as he stayed behind to watch the fur people for us), already dressed in swim suits ready to go. We headed to the beach and to my surprise it was beautiful!!! No oil, no tar balls, white sandy beaches and beautiful waves. I was so impressed. We lathered the kids up with sunscreen, gave them their boogie boards and they were off and running! We had such a wonderful time. We made some great memories and had alot of laughs........Family time at the beach, it just doesn't get any better than that..............Well, maybe alone adult time at the beach might be just as good and girlfriend time too!!!! So, don't stay home, take that family trip to the beach. We went to Panama City and it was AWESOME!

Sunday, July 11, 2010

Send me some happiness!

I am needing some happiness this morning!

I am tired of hearing about oil and seeing pics of wildlife and marine life that are covered in oil.

Pics of tar ball covered beaches.....

Terrible stories of loss and tragedy...

Just for today, send me some flowers, candies, butterflies, kisses, imaginary playmates or worlds where life is good and happy all the time..........

Tuesday, July 6, 2010

The art of Compromise


a settlement in which each side gives up some demands or makes concessions
a. an adjustment of opposing principles, systems, etc. by modifying some aspects of each
b. the result of such an adjustment
3. something midway between two other things in quality, effect, etc.
a. exposure, as of one's reputation, to danger, suspicion, or disrepute
b. a weakening, as of one's principles
Ever hear that word a lot and wonder about what it truly means. Well in our house it means learning to give a little on both sides to achieve something that we can all “live with”. Let me tell you about a recent compromise that I made with my two, count them two teenage daughters…..Or as we affectionately like to call it the estrogen house of horrors…
Mal has been wanted to streak her hair with purple for about the last year now. She is the one who likes to jump outside the box and stomp on it just for good measure. Her dad and I have repeatedly told her no, they are not allowed to wear un ”natural” colors in their hair at school. So, one weekend she went off and came home with pink hair, then blackened it with a sharpie at school one day. Really, she has looked quite funny at times. We have grounded her, taken her cell phone and told her if she does anything like this again, we will cut all that beautiful blonde hair off. She finally gave up and decided it was just not worth it. She has been such a good girl for the last six months and for Mal that is huge! Good grades and behavior that had astounded me from where we had been. Well fast forward to the summer time and I was getting my hair done. My stylist is prone to funky hair colors and it is interesting to see them each time. I was telling her about the temp hair colors and she told me that she could do it and showed me the colors and promised it would be out before school began this year. Hmmmm, I thought let me just see how much fun this could be. So, I went home with a bright red streak called a “peek a boo” hidden in my hair and the girls went wild for it. I talked to my hubby and he grudgingly agreed to allow this one thing. He said this will give them license to do all kinds of things if we give in. I told him; actually this will enable them to see that by following our rules they can be rewarded with something they really want. Well I told the girls and they were giddy with excitement over this new grown up thing I was about to let them do……We went and had it done on a Friday afternoon and they thought they were the coolest girls ever to walk the face of the earth. All their friends were jealous and they loved it! I felt good about that compromise and that is what life with a teenager is all about. As my mom always says raising teenagers is like trying to nail jello to a tree!

Tuesday, May 18, 2010

Life is funny!

Ever feel like you live in a crazy world? Well come on over to my house sometime. I live in a house with anywhere from 3 to 5 children on a daily basis, a wonderful hubby, 3 dogs, a cat that lives in my bedroom, 2 turtles and a fish. Life is crazy and hectic but never dull in my house.
On any given day there are multiple other children running in and out with a constant "shut the door" followed behind. It is a beehive of activity and a hormonal house of horrors. I laugh constantly at the things the kids say and do and there is always some sort of crisis going in our soap opera life.
I would not change it for anything. Well.......almost anything depending on the day. J is getting ready to graduate from high school and we have to keep reminding him that he is still just 18 and not ready to be out on his own. At the end of next week we will have one who just graduated, one in high school, one in middle and two still at the intermediate school. Summer is just around the corner and it should get really interesting at that point! Stay tuned for some funny summer activites and life lessons......Never a dull moment here!

Tuesday, May 11, 2010

I'm Just Sayin......

I am going to post about something that I have written about before. Parents constantly amaze me now days with the way they parent and teach their children no respect for adults or other people. OMG...If I had dared speak to an adult the way I heard some children and teenagers speak over the weekend, I would have been "knocked" into next week. My dad always said " never speak with disrespect to an adult". If you have a problem and feel that an adult has over stepped their bounds, come to me and I will take care of the problem for you. You have not earned that right.....I Have! And he was so wise in the things he used to say. I to this day tell my kids the same thing. I better never hear you disrespect an adult. It just blows me away that thirteen, fourteen and fifteen year old kids are allowed to speak to adults like that and the parents just sit back and say nothing.
I volunteered at a festival that we have each year in our town over the weekend. It is an annual event that I enjoy being a part of. I was asked to work the kid's event area. I said sure not a problem....Those 3 LONG hours reminded me why I hate parents today!!! I watched little kids (I am talking 2, 3 and 4 year olds) running wild with no supervision, throwing rocks, pushing other kids out of the way with parents either no where to be found, or just sitting back and not saying a word. I think I would have killed mine if I had seen them do half the things I watched these other kids doing. I mean really, and we wonder why our society is the way it is today? I saw a thirteen year old in a pair of shorts that would have had Daisy Duke raising her eyebrows, hanging all over two boys who looked way older than this young girl....OMG, where were the parents? What are we teaching our kids today? That it is ok to treat people, whether they be adults or other children with disrespect. What ever happened to love thy neighbor as thyself? Or even better, spare the rod, spoil the child. I pray every night that my children do not turn away from what they have learned in life when they become parents. I have taught my children that you should love and respect each other but you honor thy mother and father......I know we are not supposed to talk about religion or politics anymore but dang....Our country and all that we were founded upon is in peril and the way of life that I knew as a child is all but gone. I was spanked as a child and made to be accountable for my actions. Am I in therapy because of it??? NO! Do I work hard every day? YES...Was I handed everything by my parents? NO..They taught me the value of hard work and discipline. I washed clothes, ironed my dad's shirts, cleaned the house, cleaned my room, helped set the table and do the dishes afterward. Did I get money for it? NO. It was part of being a family and contributing to that family. I really think it is time to get back to the old fashioned values set up by our grandparents and parents...If we don't, I am afraid of what the future holds for us. I am looking forward to being a grandmother later in life....But lord help me if my grandkids are brats!!!