Tuesday, July 6, 2010

The art of Compromise


a settlement in which each side gives up some demands or makes concessions
a. an adjustment of opposing principles, systems, etc. by modifying some aspects of each
b. the result of such an adjustment
3. something midway between two other things in quality, effect, etc.
a. exposure, as of one's reputation, to danger, suspicion, or disrepute
b. a weakening, as of one's principles
Ever hear that word a lot and wonder about what it truly means. Well in our house it means learning to give a little on both sides to achieve something that we can all “live with”. Let me tell you about a recent compromise that I made with my two, count them two teenage daughters…..Or as we affectionately like to call it the estrogen house of horrors…
Mal has been wanted to streak her hair with purple for about the last year now. She is the one who likes to jump outside the box and stomp on it just for good measure. Her dad and I have repeatedly told her no, they are not allowed to wear un ”natural” colors in their hair at school. So, one weekend she went off and came home with pink hair, then blackened it with a sharpie at school one day. Really, she has looked quite funny at times. We have grounded her, taken her cell phone and told her if she does anything like this again, we will cut all that beautiful blonde hair off. She finally gave up and decided it was just not worth it. She has been such a good girl for the last six months and for Mal that is huge! Good grades and behavior that had astounded me from where we had been. Well fast forward to the summer time and I was getting my hair done. My stylist is prone to funky hair colors and it is interesting to see them each time. I was telling her about the temp hair colors and she told me that she could do it and showed me the colors and promised it would be out before school began this year. Hmmmm, I thought let me just see how much fun this could be. So, I went home with a bright red streak called a “peek a boo” hidden in my hair and the girls went wild for it. I talked to my hubby and he grudgingly agreed to allow this one thing. He said this will give them license to do all kinds of things if we give in. I told him; actually this will enable them to see that by following our rules they can be rewarded with something they really want. Well I told the girls and they were giddy with excitement over this new grown up thing I was about to let them do……We went and had it done on a Friday afternoon and they thought they were the coolest girls ever to walk the face of the earth. All their friends were jealous and they loved it! I felt good about that compromise and that is what life with a teenager is all about. As my mom always says raising teenagers is like trying to nail jello to a tree!

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