Friday, February 12, 2010

" Friends vs. frienemies"

I recently had a conversation with my 12 year old daughter about friends vs. frienemies......Let me explain what I mean by this. My daughter Gabby is a sweet, easy going beautiful young lady who is very laid back. She has a kind heart and is what we older folks call a late bloomer. She is going to be so beautiful that it makes me worry. Now, I know all parents think their child is the prettiest, smartest, greatest child ever to be born, but I look at her and think...Oh my she is going to be beautiful. She has the most gorgeous hair I have ever seen. It is curly with gorgeous spiral type curls and it can be straightened or left curly. Of course she hates it! She has a beautiful complexion with lips that most women pay big money for and the biggest brown eyes you have ever seen. She is her own worst critic...I am fat, I hate my hair etc......I am sure those of you who have girls understand exactly what I am talking about. So, on to my story....My daughter recently had her hair cut, highlighted and straightened. She was so excited about it and could not wait to show it off at school. She dressed up that day and had her hair all fixed, put a little make-up on and headed off to school. That afternoon, she came home very dejected with her hair pulled up in a pony-tail. I asked her how her day went and she said that one of her girlfriends told her her hair looked terrible. I told her her hair is gorgeous and that the girl is just jealous. Now this little girl is someone that my child considers a friend....I told her that real friends do not treat people that way and are happy when their friends do something great or have a great new hairdo! Girls who pretend to be your friends but talk about you behind your back or say hurtful things are frienemies. My mom used to tell me all the time 'with friends like that who needs enemies". As a teenager I did not understand that concept, but as I got older I understood it only too well. Now I have the best girlfriends in the world ones who love and respect me for who I am. They are happy for me when something good happens to me and share my sorrow when things go wrong. I hope someday my daughter is as lucky as I am.

1 comment:

  1. Gabby IS beautiful. And does have the best hair. I agree, that little girl is jealous of Gabby. I do, however, hope Gabby will gain the confidense her mother and grandmother have. In school, I had no confidense in myself (I know that surprises you. HA!) My BFF was ALWAYS putting me down, from the clothes I wore to my hair. I always second guessed myself. ANd I truly think my childhood friends belittling affects me and the person I am to this day. I hope Gabby will realize that is NOT friendship. That is a toxic relationship where that other girl has to belittle others to build herself up. Gabby is so beautiful, I want her to gain that confidense to match that beauty and know that she doesnt need a "friendemey", she needs a supportive friend. Yes, Kym, we are so blessed. And I thank you for helping me to gain confidense in myself. I LOVE you my cheerleader!